Browse Month by June 2017
Mom Life

Failing @ Motherhood

I feel like this is going to be some sort of ongoing series that I will be able to write about every damn day!

 

I was reading a blog post one day http://www.manrepeller.com/2016/11/birds-and-bees.html, and while laughing and reading these sentences about the birds and the bees, I  realized – I am failing my child as a mother……  I do not want to have any sort of conversation with my 6 year old about this!  Will that traumatize him more than watching some dirty porno?  I don’t know – BUT as of now – I am not willing to risk the future of my beautiful  baby boy.  When I put the word baby in there – it makes it ok, because “babies” would not understand the birds and the bees at all.  When he starts asking me questions I will think about what to say then, at that moment!

Learning about sex might be the quintessential rite of passage. The moment we understand the frankly off-putting way babies are made is the moment all our imaginary …

 

This story is not a birds and the bees story but more about the difference between a girl and a boy.

Here is my proof that I am failing (hard – failing hard)!

My kid was in the tub.  He is my one and only earthly child so unfortunately for him, I have no one else to bother so I hang out in the bathroom with him while he takes a bath.  Ya know, so he doesn’t drown.  Because that is what a good mother does, she sits on the toilet, not peeing or pooping – with the lid down, on her phone playing Tetris while her kid plays in the tub.  Sigh…..  another failure.

ANYWAYS, I had to pee, real bad.  So I got up and carefully went to pee, covering all my girl parts with my shirt so that he couldn’t see me and be scared for life seeing his mom’s “privates”.  He looks at me…..  I say, what babe?  He is very curiously looking at me while in the background you can hear my pee whizzing into the toilet water.  With such curiosity in his face, I started to panic, he is going to ask me something I do not want to answer!!!!  I knew I should have just pissed my pants or went outside behind the house – dammit life!!!

Momma, he says, girls don’t have penises right?  As I am still pissing.  Right hun, girls do not have penises.  Whew, dodged that bullet……..

Momma, he says again with an almost light bulb moment.  “Is it weird to pee out your butthole?”  In his mind, he had finally figured it out!!!  Good thing I was already peeing, because I may have pissed my pants!

I answered him, matter of factly, “Yes, yes it is weird peeing out my butt hole.”  He was good with that answer and continued on playing.  I kind of think he was proud of himself for figuring that out.  Whew, dodged that bullet!!!!  ……or did I????…..

 

Then later that night it hit me – FAILURE!!  I am a complete FAILURE!!!

 

Design on, in this beautifully undesigned life,

Kari

 

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

DIY, Half-Ass DIY

Plant Stand Redo (the half-ass DIY)

Who me!?! The half-ass DIYer!?!

YEP, that’s me!!!

I love to DIY (within reason).  I love remodels, before & afters of anything really.  I just really want to see the end result.

To start, I have inherited a set of Victorian (peacock) chairs, table and plant stand. They look like this table set.  They are very rusty and need a little TLC (sorry I do not have a before pic, but trust me they have been rusting outside in the elements for a good 20+ years).  There has been a lot of talk/discussion about how to fix these worn out metal pieces of furniture.  Between my Dad and Hubby there has been talk of sandblasting, wire brushing, re-tacking, taking it to somewhere for special priming and then painting them.  Most likely the proper way to do things.  I don’t know about you guys but I just want and end result!  I thought, Nah, I will just paint the plant stand first to see how things go before I paint  any of the other furniture – I would just cry my eyes out if I ruined them!

So…. being the half-ass DIYer that I am I decided to forgo any of ideas that my Dad or Hubby had and do it my way!  I will just go out and buy some Rustoleum spray paint and give it a go.

I cleaned it up – or I lied, it rained, like stormed  a few days ago – so I consider that washed. Right?

Then put it in the grass so that my son, Forrest and I, could get to work.  I didn’t have a mask, we improvised and used a hanky.  Use a mask – it is a responsible thing to do.

My Hubby comes over and told us to get it off the grass and use some milk crates (I’m pretty sure he was really annoyed) Ooooppppsssss sorry Hun!

We let it dry for the rest of the afternoon and WHALA!  Here it is!  Pretty damn good if you ask me!!! Not perfect but I am very happy with it!  It gives the look I was going for and it did not even take that long!

I LOVE IT!!!

The one question I have to ask myself is….. How long will the paint last? PPPffffftttttt – by the time the paint starts to get bad and chip off I will want to change it anyways, so I do not have an answer to that question – and I don’t care 🙂

Design on, my friends, in your wonderfully undesigned life!

Kari

 

Follow my blog with Bloglovin